


"it's only worth living if somebody is loving you"

by 2amstorysfever



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fanfic, Fluff, Joker - Freeform, Kinda, Love at First Sight, Stalking, arthur fleck - Freeform, best movie ver, it's 2am idk what im doing, mental health, only a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-07 20:22:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20981801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2amstorysfever/pseuds/2amstorysfever
Summary: Mia is a student who just moved to Gotham. As she tries to adapt to her new life, things take a turn when she meets Arthur Fleck.But is is a bad thing?When he is at his lowest point, Arthur sees something he never encountered before: hope.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy see you at the end and until then- have a great time :)

Moving to Gotham was the craziest thing she has ever done. Before that, Mia used to live in a small town where nothing happened. Ever. At all. And here she was, trying not to make any sound in the stairs, walking towards her room in university. She has always liked late night walks in the streets back in the days, but doing that in Gotham was, well, different. Her university is located in the best area of the city, where rich and powerful people live, like the Wayne’s family. But she couldn’t help wanting to discover the whole city, the real and harsh reality of Gotham. Mia is street smart, she even carries a knife « just in case » as her mother always said. As she walks trough the long corridor to the sounds of small snores, she thinks about the reaction of her parents when she announced she was going to college here. Saying that they were angry was a euphemism, as they exploded with rage, but hey- it’s her life- right? She smiles at the memory, putting the keys to unlock the door, and catches a glimpse of a note on her door.

« Hey night girl I left you some food in the kitchen, try to get some sleep and see you tomorrow <3 »

Her neighbor is the best thing that ever happened to Mia. She met Alex the day she moved here and they have been inseparable ever since. She smiled, and put the note in her pocket. Mia put a hand trough her long brown hair as she lays down, trying to get some sleep, at least to make her best friend happy. 

-I don’t know, it could be dangerous and-

-What could be dangerous? asked Mike, his head popping behind Alex

-Mia has the brilliant idea to go to a store in the worst part of Gotham, it’s totally and utterly irresponsi- 

Alex was cut by a long and overdramatic sigh from Mia : 

-Listen, I need fucking vinyls, my room is as sad as my life, and come on, i’m going to be fine I will be back before nine pm, I promise !

After approximately one hour of debating in the library instead of doing their papers, she finally wins the argument and packs her things in her bag.

-Well babe, I would have loved going on a little date with you but I dont really want to get stabbed so, see you tomorrow I guess ! mused Mike, a wide smile plastered on his beautiful face.

Mia rolled her eyes, this guy was definitely too confident, but she couldn’t help loving him already. As a friend, of course. She wasn’t the kind of person to do that, she has never been in a relationship before, hell, she never had a crush before !  
Sometimes, at night, she would lay down on her bed, and asking herself « what’s wrong with me » and have an existential crisis. Good times. But not tonight.

It’s so full all the time, it’s a nightmare. Her body was pressed between two guys, and as she exits the subway, she promises herself to walk the next time.  
The vinyl store is absolutely awesome though. Walking down the aisles, she paused regularly and searched for Chet Baker, Jeff Buckley, The Doors, Led Zeppelin or The Beatles. She didn’t even noticed the sun setting before she exits the shop and thinks about Alex and her now broken promise. Oops. Mia was admiring her surroundings as she hears muffled screams in the street on her right. She only sees a few teenagers running towards her and disappearing, and then complete silence. Her eyes falls on a body on the ground. Instinctively, she heas towards the poor man. She looks at his face, white paints remaining on his neck, and a green wig almost falling from his bag.

-Hey, let me help you !

She offers her hand, and the dark haired stranger just stares at her. What she sees in his eyes broke her heart. He doesn’t seem to know if he could trust her, if she would mock him, or hurt him. But he grabs her hand, and is soon back on his feet.

She is absolutely beautiful, too beautiful for this city, is his first thought about her. He finally let go of her hand and thanks her. 

-Is everything okay sir? She said softly with a small smile on her face.

Yes. Yes he is feeling good right know, with this stranger smiling at him, actually recognizing his existence, not judging him. 

-Yes thanks, just a little joke from kids, but it’s okay, they are young, and you know… it happens.

He has just been beat up, and yet he was smiling. Seeing the confusion in her green eyes, he adds :

-My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face.

And at this moment, she thinks that his mother was right because it is really a nice smile.


	2. An unexpected meeting

Arthur went back home. His thoughts were all the same, directed to the same person, the beautiful stranger he met a few hours ago. Her name was Mia, it was a nice name.   
His day couldn’t have been worse, well before he got beat up by these kids. His boss was threatening to fire him because he already last a sign last week, his mother was in hospital, and he was just sick and tired of life. It was one of these days, where he just couldn’t be positive, no matter how hard he tried.   
He couldn’t help but think about his poor apartment, almost falling appart. About the bills, and how he would be able to eat tomorrow. He was losing more and more weight. The only thing that kept him going was the Murray show every evening. He has always loved comedy. Sometimes, he would go to stand ups, and all of his problems were forgotten. Well, until he left and was back in the streets, back in misery. But his day took an unexpected turn in this dark alley. He never really paid attention to women, because he was too busy trying to survive, and also because deep down, he knew that no one will ever want to be with him.   
He lighted up a cigaret and went to the window, a smile plastered in his face. He couldn’t believe how kind she acted towards him, a complete stranger. Most of the times, he noticed, pretty girls were acting mean to him, laughing at him with their friends, or ignoring him, making himself doubt his own existence. But Mia, she didn’t. In her eyes, he felt alive.

It was saturday, he decided to go for a walk, because he was really bored without his mother to keep him company, and he was already with her for hours this morning. He was walking through the streets, and suddenly his heart seemed to stop. He turns his head towards the small coffee, and he saw her. She was wearing a red hoodie, a mug in her hands, as she was laughing with her friends. There were two persons with her, a girl and a guy, the stopped him from admiring him correctly, but they seemed to make her happy, so it was okay.   
An old grumpy man bumped into him as he was still in the middle of the sidewalk, he muttered a sorry with a small smile and got closer to the side. Her two friends got up, and for a moment he was sad because it seemed that they were leaving. Well, the were, but she wasn’t. He waited awkwardly by the door, debating on entering or not. But what were the odds of seeing her today, there was so much people in Gotham… He needed to take his chance.

Wow, finding an excuse to stay alone in this coffee had been hard, she thought. They were about to leave the coffee when she spotted the man from yesterday, Arthur, next to the door. She wanted to know how he was feeling, but asking it with Alex and Mike would only raise questions that she didn’t want to answer.  
She saw him entered shyly, and as their eyes met she put on her best smile to encourage him to come. It worked.

-Hello, can I- sit?  
-Of course, she laughed

Her laugh faded as she saw his flinch while sitting because of the bruises probably all over his body.

-I’m okay, don’t worry

But she did. They talked for hours. About the city, about the hypocrisy of the Wayne family, about the vinyl she bought, the movies they love, the Murray show, books, comedy, and finally people.

-Yeah ! People can be so mean for no reason I swear it makes me so mad, like, what does it cost to be kind? Nothing, so be nice, bitch

He chuckled at her words, she was so innocent and yet so understanding and aware of how bad life can be. 

-Oh no! I have an appointment in like ten minutes and its all across the city, oh my god if im late, I swear that-

She grabbed her things, said goodbye, a hand on his shoulder and went off in the streets of gotham.

He just sat here, smiling like an idiot. She was beautiful, kind, funny, although a bit moody sometimes, and he just knows that he liked her very much. He hadn’t talked to someone for that long in years, and it just felt good. Suddenly, a terrible thought hit him. He has no ways to contact her again, except if he bumped randomly into her in the streets, but what were the odds? He has been lucky this time but now… Was it already over? A part of him thought that he has already been so lucky, but one part of him wanted more. Happiness was addictive, and she made him happy. But then, there was the realistic part of him. She just entered university, she lives in the best place of the city, she had friends, even friends that are guys, she is pretty, and smart, and she is going to be someone one day, he just knows it, and everyone seems to notice it too, her presence simply lighten the room she’s in. He didn’t deserve her. He deserved nothing.


	3. a rainy night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote these three chapters in like one hour, I'm just posting it for fun, I know it sucks, I know there are spelling mistakes, I know it cringey af but hey- enjoy anyway lmao

The rain was pouring, she puts her hands further in the sleeves of her white hoodie. She looked down at her soaked legs, regretting the choice of denim shorts this morning. Gotham by night, or the art of not having any money left for a fucking taxi because you spent it all on new black converse that are now as wet as your hair. Perfect. She couldn’t go home, because it was an hour from where she was, so she figured out the best thing to do. 

She knocked at the door and when nobody answered, she stepped back, verifying that the lights were on. 

-Please open the door… she muttered 

And her wish became reality. A small man, like very very small man, opened the door, visibly just out of his sleep. 

-Mmm, excuse me, long story short I’m stuck outside my house, and I know Arthur Fleck works here? She began. Well maybe you can give me his address, he is a friend but I never came to his place before… Listen I know its weird but-

He disappeared in his home, only to be back a few minutes later with a small piece of paper. He just closed the door again, rolling his eyes. Great.

She made her way to the dress quite easily, ignoring the catcalls, the fights and the drug deals happening on her way to the building. She spent ten minutes looking at the names on each door, and finally found what she was searching for.  
Arthur Fleck.  
She knocked.

It was midnight, and maybe he wasn’t here, or maybe he doesn’t want to see her, I mean isn’t it weird to just show up at someone’s door like that or is it just-

-Mia? 

He wasn’t sleeping but was probably close to, as he seemed really tired, and she suddenly felt guilty.

-Arthur I’m so sorry to disturb you but I have no money to go back because I’m a mess so I was wondering If I could spent the night here, I will sleep on the floor and be gone first thing of the morning I promise

He just chuckled and opened the door with a small wave of the hand meaning « go ahead ».  
She was standing in the middle of the room and he suddenly became very self conscious because his place was so poor, especially if compared to her own place.

-No way ! She said heading to the window- You have a view on the movie theater? Thats so cool ! I never went but its on my list !  
He smiled, she always have this positive attitude, she always try to make him at ease. And it works. After he explained to her that there was no problem for her to be here, even at midnight because it was what friends are made for, he noticed her shivering

-im going to give you some of my clothes, I’ll be back

He handed her an oversized sweater and shorts. As she was on the bathroom, he prepared a glass of water and some biscuits for her because he guesses it was the best thing to do. 

She gladly accepted it, and they watched tv together. The movie wasn’t really interesting, but the fact that they were sitting so close to each other, commenting little details making jokes and just being together made everything seemed better.  
They yawned simultaneously and laughed.

-You are tired aren’t you? He asked softly

She nodded, chuckling. He proceed to show her his room and said good night, leaving.

-Wait are you really going to sleep on the floor Arthur?  
Seeing him nodding, she sighed and said in a trying to be serious tone :

-Well me too, so either we sleep together in a bed or on the floor, your choice

The choice was made quickly. He felt a bit strange because he doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, it was also strange to sleep with someone else but he was happy about it, because it was were. She didn’t felt uncomfortable at all, as she does this regularly with Alex, but well, this is not Alex. She didn’t really want to think about it, so she just collapsed on the bed, and falls asleep almost immediately, after they both said good night, a smile on their lips.

It must be 10am, he guessed by the position of the sun through the window. He never slept that late, but today was different, because she was here. He became more aware of his surroundings as he gradually woke up, only to notice something that made his heart skip a beat. Her head was on his torso, her hand too. He couldn’t believe it was his life, he thought as a smile was plastered all across his face. She woke up slowly, and suddenly he was afraid that she was going to be angry, or uncomfortable. She raised her head up with pouty lips and tired eyes, looked at him, and smiled as she went back to her former position, this time lightly caressing his torso with her hand. 

He was definitely the happiest man in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for today, if you are interested in more of this story, let me down below <3


	4. chapter four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy someone left a review and reminded me of the existence of this story so I wrote something while waiting for my bus...

They stayed in bed together for hours, just talking, and he couldn’t have been more happy. She was amazing, he decided. She never lets awkward silences make him feel bad. When she had to leave, Arthur watched her walking in the streets until she disappeared. His day went smoothly, smoking cigarettes looking at the sky getting darker and darker. He didn’t think once about his abusive mother, because thanks to Mia, he was slowly realising his worth. He deserved love. He tried to bury the logical part of his brain telling him that he was too poor, too old, too ugly for her. Instead, he began to write in his journal about her. And the next day, he spent all his therapy talking about her and how amazing she was. He didn’t notice the doctor being worried for the girl and the deep frown on her face. 

She received his texts but she couldn’t answer because of university and all the amount of work. Mike and Alex weren’t helping, always asking her who it was. She couldn’t help but smile when she was thinking about him and about the moments they shared together. 

-Girl you need to get ready, there’s no way you are not going with us to the party tonight !! whined Alex while entering her room

She was stunning, Mia thought. She went for it all, a short black dress, big heels and beautiful hair and makeup.

-You are definitely going to get laid tonight, Mia mumbled as her friends cheeks went red

She didn’t really want to go to the party, she would have preferred to just chill and watch tv but deep down she knows that she needed to make efforts to be more social, even if she will never be a social butterfly like Alex, that was for sure.  
After she took her shower, she put a little red dress that she found in a thrift shop last week, put some makeup and let her long brown hair falling naturally on her back.   
At the same moment, Mike’s head appeared near the door as he hushed them to get going because they were already late, and not fashionably late but just straight up two hours late. In all this mess, Mia didn’t hear the sound of her phone buzzing, with these words appearing : 

“I’m worried that you are not answering me... I can come by this evening if that’s okay with you, just to check up on you... See you.   
Arthur”

He actually tried to make himself appear nicer, putting a shirt, doing his hair nicely. He sighed while looking at his réflexion in the subway. He was stressed. He was also impatient to see her again. He missed her. He felt like an outsider, even more than usual, while walking towards the campus. He didn’t know where to look for her as she didn’t answer his texts, but soon his head jerked to the building of his right, music blasting very loudly. As his curiosity overcame him, he decided to head up there to see what’s going on. A party. He never went to one as a teenager, but he knew that Mia would probably be here. As he scanned his surroundings searching for her, he began to give up because the crowd was too think. But suddenly, he saw a girl in a read dress dancing slowly to the music and a smile was quickly spreading on his lips. She was beautiful. He suddenly became self conscious but tried to put his things on other things, just as his therapist told him. He focused on Mia, but soon a frown appeared on his face as he noticed a man dancing with her, way too close for his liking. He couldn’t help but stare, his own surroundings becoming blurry, his eyes only focusing on Mia and this man. The man -probably a football player, Arthur thought- cupped Mia’s face and suddenly kissed her.   
It was as if he had been kicked in the stomach even harder than usual. He turned around and began to walk away. And suddenly, he felt something he didn’t feel that intensely in years.   
Hatred. 

In this cold evening, as he was walking out of the campus, his mind wandered. He was imagining killing this man. And all the men that would lay their eyes on Mia.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if someone is still reading leave a comment plz or i will abandon this haha

Days have passed since he saw Mia dancing at this party, and then the other random guy kissing her lips.

Life was back to normal for Arthur Fleck. No more butterflies in his stomach, only a dull and aching pain. The shared moments between them were all he had in mind.   
But he knew the truth, it was over and he should be grateful that this even happened to HIM. The thing is, when you experience happiness, going back to your normal and gloomy life is really hard.   
He went to work, was bullied by random kids in the streets, eating way too little and spending his time taking care of his mother while watching tv. Is it life? Only that? 

This morning, on his way back from his night of work, he took the newspaper and now he was reading it, trying to change his dark thoughts. At first he thought he was hallucinating. And he decided that he was definitely going crazy. But then, after double checking and blinking a few times he understood it was the reality : her reality.   
Mia was on the second page of the newspaper, she went on a small NY tv shows and sang, because she sounded like an angel when she was singing, and everyone loved her. The newspaper was really nice about her, a lot of compliments, saying she has a bright future ahead of her. He was smiling, but his smile faded when he knew that her bright future will not be with him. It was impossible.  
With his hand, he was gently caressing her face on the picture.  
______

Mia was on the subway, she was going going to the city to try to find a dress for the wedding of her aunt that will be soon.  
At her greatest surprise, two persons on the ride recognised her from the newspaper. She was really happy, even if she blushed her when receiving all these compliments. It was a beautiful day, she thought. She was supposed to meet with Jake, she asked him to be his date for the wedding. They met at the party and he just kissed her, and she had asked him at this moment. She regretted it, but it wasn’t really polite to just cancel the invitation so she just didn’t say anything.   
They went shopping, she bought a little black dress and he bought a flamboyant and very expensive suit. She rolled her eyes all the afternoon at his comments on «the poorest and rotted parts of the city » and how he wish someone could just make all the poor people move out because they were just destroying the image of this beautiful city.   
She couldn’t wait to part ways and to be on her own. But on the way back, he wanted to grab a coffee so she said no. She didn’t think that he was used to be said no like that because he gradually went more and more angry. It was really embarrassing because a lot of people on the streets were watching them now. Suddenly he just took her wrist really hard and apologised. But he was probably just apologising because of the people watching. They parted ways, she took a cab and he took the subway to join his father five stars hotel.  
She hated violence, even more so because she has been exposed to it during her childhood. It had created a pit in her stomach, she just wanted to go back in her dorm room and cry. Sometimes she was just weak, and it was one of these moments.

It was one am, and Arthur was standing in front of a prestigious hotel. He went to the back, because no one would ever let HIM enters. It was easy. It was even easier to find the room where he was. After all, he was the one casually bragging at the windows of his room.   
He had seen everything. On his way back to work, there was a group of people slowing their walk to listen to the drama, and he saw the scene. He didn’t do anything and he was feeling guilty for it.  
So he decided to kill Jake.  
That’s what he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so...
> 
> -English is not my first language, tell me if you noticed it and if yes, how? improvement is life guys  
-If you have ideas for the story, like prompts or an imagine that you want me to put in the story, no problem! just tell me im private messages to not spoil others :)
> 
> Comment and tell me what you think about this first chapter ! Depending on how it is receive, I might right end the story in only a few days, with like maybe 15 chapters? So basically, hype me up!!!


End file.
